positive & negative

i seem to be extremely pissed off at one particular thing, idiocy.

yes. in general, i am a pretty tolerant person. heck, you can continuously piss me off, and i won't even breathe a word of dissatisfaction towards you, but the moment you cross the line from being annoying to idiotic, that's it. good bye.

i just don't get it, why, WHY! i believe all humans are equal, if not have at least a default capability of thinking. that is exactly why they call it common sense. COMMON. look it up in any dictionary and i am pretty sure it means something that is familiar to all. but why is it, that some unfortunate souls just fail to grasp the workings of this convenient sense. oh my god.

let's take specimen A. it works at a fast food joint (e.g. mcdonalds) as a cashier. some customers came in through the drive-thru lane, and orders for a single french fry. specimen A, not exerting common sense to just key in what the customer orders, decided on herself to double the order and give her two french fry instead. after that comes the tedious, long process of actually canceling the orders, calling the manager etc etc. see, wouldn't the world work smoother if she had actually used her sense, and just fucking give the customer what s/he asked for. thats why its called making an order moron, you just followed the aforementioned orders.

take specimen B, for another equally-good example. after calling a truce, with other partie(s) that wasn't even wrong in the first place after a long and pathetic argument with bad breaths and unnecessary screaming, empty threats and inane words, comes to their personal websites and starts making remarks that shows the IQ of a ten-year old, (where this specimen supposedly was a law student, who had gotten into the dean's list on one occasion, and is seen listening attentively in class and studies often, how that happens, thats's another of life's great mysteries) and doesn't even come close to being offensive, it just merely passes as laughable and pathetic. (and self-degrading, desperately yearning for attention, among others). see, if specimen B had taken just a bit of time, to actually think and, dig up for information, maybe, just maybe it could come up with insults that actually hits the spot. and not just statements that show the condition of their pathetic, closed little minds that equals to an uneducated person living in the rural area.

fucktards. they're everywhere.

okay.

happy things.

i love it when he takes the decision to take me out. why? because it shows that he actually wants to be there, and that makes the whole lotta difference for both of us. me, especially :)

i love when he holds out his hand at the back, expecting me to grab it, and holds it for a few seconds on the fingers just before letting go. it's sweet.

i love it when he makes a fool out of himself, and gets caught red-handed and shows that cheeky smile where his eyes almost disappear.

i love it when he stubbornly decides to get popcorn for the movies, even after a full dinner. just because he likes it, and give lame excuses like "sugar helps u digest"

i love it when i get to kiss him when nobody's watching, and only he and me realizes what happened, and he pretends nothing happens.

i don't like it when he brings up the topic again. i don't like it when he teases me on things that i can't retort back. i don't like it when he sometimes act indifferent, but that's just the way it is.

i love the feeling that i have when i'm around him, that's all that matters, isn't it?

today i ate a lot. no wonder the weights been going up the scales. ate lunch, danced, ate dinner, slept. woke up, ate cookies.

i suck.

and now, headed off to iranian's house to chill. yay.

good luck to islamic consti students. hahaha.

"he walks past us, you leave your food and walk him home as if takut he kena rogol, and walk back alone to us
either u kene jampi, or u really care for him la kan?"

this made me happy ;), for no apparent reason.

fucktards.

there are just too many fucktards in this world. they walk amongst us, sometimes gone unnoticed, sometimes blatantly obvious with a big red neon sign that indicates their idiocy. now, i'm not sure everybody knows what happened to us in our msian studies class. but i don't actually want to recall the tale here. it's bad for my karma. but seriously, the level of idiocy these people go to just never cease to amaze me, never.

what the fuck is wrong with you people? can't you just wallow into a hole, and say, die and make the world a much much better and beautiful place for everyone? if human contact is just too much for u to handle, common courtesy too complicated to comprehend, just stay off the streets, go back in your cave and stay there. trust me, it would make things a lot easier for everyone.

now that's off my chest. let's waste time on something more worthwhile.

for some who knows me, i may seem like a swinger. no not that kind in changing partners often, but more to changing my set of friends. i do admit that i do have some problems opening up to certain social situations (i.e. RELATIONSHIPS) , so i find it hard, and an unbelievably alien concept for me to be opening up to people. and to tell them what matters, what makes me tick and so on. that is why, for me, it was very easy making friends, surface ones at that.

as for the posses i left, there was various reasons for me to be doing so. the cf bunch was just a bit screwed up in the head. the people i was close with during the beginning at alpha just seemed too shady, and the green gang, well. that's what i wanted to talk about.

honestly, they are nice, amazing down-to-earth people. i truly enjoyed the time i spent with them, but after some time i realized something. they're just kids.

no, i'm not saying i'm the most grown-up person in the world, but i think that life needs a certain level of maturity to advance too.

i don't want to be playing games for the rest of my life. honestly, i had enough of animes and games and the whole obsessing about something-thing, it's enough. i like the place i am now.

so, yeah. i never told anyone about this, and i don't mean to hurt anyone, if i do, i am sorry.

okay.

back to idiocy. why do some people do this. tell one half of the story, and then pause and make u beg and ask the question again and again as if you're dying to know the rest of the story, and then refrain from saying so also.

please laaaaaaaaaaaaaa. who gives a fuck about your story. it's obvious that you are just dying to tell me, for the fact that noone else wants to talk to you.

haha. i feel so evil now. but i couldn't care less.

p/s - you're such a nice guy, you can't say bad things to other people. and yet with me, u continuously never fail to insult me. mucho gracias.

here in malacca, the favourite pastime of everyone, is to sip iced-tea and cock-talk about every soul that passes them. how to steer yourself from them? don't go out. i guess society in a whole is like that, this is just the small-scale of how the fucked up thing works. but, sometimes don't blame the community, blame yourself for providing enough cookie-bits for them to trail u back into your dirty little secret hole.

dug up this old pic. look at how nice my ass looked in those pants last time. now? ptuii. time to buy new jeans (or a new pair of ass)

it changed

on a happier note.

weather these days have been fantastic! i totally dig it, and wish that it would stay this way forever. but, as opposed to last year around these times, i have developed a (few) layers of adipose tissues to keep me warm hahaha! breezy and sunny, perfect for just chilling outside and let the sun soak into your skin. perfect weather for a holiday too. anyone up for it? :D

it's somewhat alarming that i only make sad melancholic posts, i should write happy things also, right? soooooooooooo let's recap on the happy things that happened to me these past few days

1. stoner is so cute. i damn layu.
2. i have munnneeey to waste!!! :D
3. not exactly happy, but midterms are coming, and the fucked up std presentations, and the assignments. *grumblegrumblebrumble*
4. i think plenty of people are cute. am i being a bad gf?

ok. i need to study. damn you. why can't i be like all the other good students and just study everyday and get good grades and lead a good life etc etc. (i'm referring to the bookworms. like my former housemates. damn good student wei!)

p/s - i still think stoner is cute. and naju's abang's body is to die for. yummeh yummeh.

i think i'm turning into a horny slobbering aunty now. better stop it.

and. i wonder if anyone from subang is reading my blog. comment la you people, i'm very lonely :( saya perlukan kasih-sayang kamu. kita love.

waiting for the world to change

i'm in a funk right now.

i don't know how to explain it, i'm surrounded by everything that i want, and i know what i should be doing. and yet, it feels so restless. i see people around me, i know there are some of them like me, but damn, humans are so conveniently built. they hide these things really well.

i have just been sleeping a lot, sleep sleep. feeling lethargic but at the same time nervous and restless. why? sleep just makes the feeling disappear for a while, and that feels good.

i bet i look like shit now. hahaha.

okay.

weekends are supposed t be fun, isn't it? the marker of the end of a week, the escape from the routine days of either studying or working, the whole TGIF shizzam, it's supposed to bomb by default.

and it did ;) *insert silly grin*

i just wanna say. i love you u guys so much. thank you tasalini for keeping m company for the whole night and ditching the pak arab. thanks ihsan for not saying anything. thanks crys for having friends who gave me a free drink... (seriously, i feel bad). and i had a good time :)

annddddddddddddddddddddd. my housemate turned out to be not so bad afterall. had a little chat with her, shes ok i guess. comel. i like.

and the stoner is so cute. yeah, i can't think of any intellectual things to write. tomorrow shall be the day. time for bed, good night.

good luck to the student(s) who's having three midterms next week, mwah.