my memory will fail me someday, maybe. so i better write up on that day :)

the plan was to watch avp, but seeing as it was a public holiday, i was pretty sure that there wouldn't be any tickets at all, and seeing as he wanted to take a cab there it seemed pretty stupid. so i went ahead and rented a car, and thank goodness the lady had one available (it was the last one :D somehow i am convinced that i am very lucky). drove to mbo, which, of course was full. decided to wander off to mp instead...

...and somehow we ended up in starbucks. the place where we had our first date, somwhere in february i guess. sat near the exact same place, but the difference is now i am a different person, and he is a year older hahaha.

walked around for a bit, and he swears he won't come shopping with me ever again. (yeah, but it was okay for him to browse around, kan?) later decided on where to have dinner, and since his meat-craving side came out, tried to find places where they served steak. ended up in asian havana cafe, and i was so glad he liked it. funny thing was, i don't remember why i never told him about the place before.

well, to tell the truth, i would rather bring him to nicer places, but as we are in malacca, we will just have to make do with what we have. hopefully soon, i will be able to do all the best things for him.

went back to his place, and had our little celebration :)

had cake, took a few pics and the funniest thing happened. shall not be mentioned here for my safety tho ;) got him a book, and the shirt that he had been eyeing for a few times. baby i'm so glad that u liked it. was contemplating pf getting him perfume instead but that can wait.

babe,

i like you a lot. sometimes, when i think about it , i have the idea that it could just be the fact that i am used to having you around, but then sometimes i think that its real. i know how you feel towards me, and its just hard sometimes. but let's not think about the future too much, shall we. let's just enjoy now. and right now, i am totally head over heels with you <3 you're a wonderful guy, and i really appreciate the fact that you open up to me, and accepts me as i am, though u are a very different person from me. and i know u wish sometimes i am more mature, grown up, probably a woman and not a girl. through all the screw-ups i made, ur able to look past it and give me another chance. i will make myself better, not just for ur sake, but for mine also. right now, i can't think of anyone else to be around with, to spend my time with, to hang out with, to tell things to, to worry and be happy with. ...though you look (and act) like one bodoh sometimes, i still like you!

self-explainatory

being sick sucks.


now excuse me while i hibernate for another twelve-hours.

pro-cras-ti-na-tion

merry christmas everyone. to the ones who sent me text messages, thanks, but i seriously don't know who 012 is.

okay.
something is wrong here.

i stayed back in malacca, over the long weekend (friday-tuesday). instead of going back, celebrating eidul adha, abang li's engagement, quality family time and (probably) partying on xmas eve and so on, i decided to stay here. in malacca.

why? did i lose my mind?

no. i wanted to study. (oh yes i wanted so badly)

and after 4 days have passed,i should at least finish up on the human rights presentation, with full texts and commentaries, and kowtim a few chaps of labour law. am i right.?

.....hahaha.

let's be realistic. i suck.

so it's christmas eve. AND (today, if u wanna be technical) it's moji's birthday. yay. so people, try and guess whats the difference between my boyfriend and jesus ;)

anyway, gonna celebrate it tomorrow, i hope things will go well. i seriously couldn't plan anything. wanted to "surprise" him with something. had ideas of sexy lingerie and/or a strip dance, but realized i wasn't feeling sexy. had ideas of the whole shnizz (rose petals, wine and all) but i don't have a key to his place. had ideas of a romantic dinner but i'm broke. had ideas of doing something fun, but i realized that we are in our exam week. and fun isn't one of the staples.
fuck mmu.

got him a book. don't know whether it was a right thing to get him, but i like the idea of him reading a book with his face all frowned trying to concentrate. super cute.

all the clubs in malacca is full today. hahaha. cube was like another station 3, cinabengs and rempits who should belong in hang tuah mall instead. not going there again.

okay. time to deactivate myself and get ready to study (for real) tomorrow.



and danial, all the best in china. come back with heaps of money and swoon dasha off her feet.

i'm broke.

people keep on saying that, i keep on saying it so many times. but seriously, this spending habit is getting a bit out of control.

i withdrew rm300 today.

and theres less than rm50 left.

what the fuck did i do?? i don't even know.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

by this rate, all the ptptn money would have lesap into thin air. and i will be penniless!!

shopping will be hiatus until next break. even online ones

butiwanthtecardiandthattopandthatjeans

been spending the past week with moji when finally last night i left him alone to continue with his studying. sometimes i can't help but feel like i am disturbing him when i'm around. i sleep, i laze around and i don't do anything. some motivation eh? :(

went back to KL this morning. was pretty uneventful, except for the fact that i spent a lot. and got moji's present for him. hope he will like it. went to bangsar, and i never realized it was such a high-end place. fuck, no place for a student like me to be roaming around.

but it's good motivation to earn a lot later on.

there is this chaos inside of me. it's coming out from uncertainty and worries. about life, love, and other things. i screwed up sometime ago, and it came back to haunt me as i did yet another bad choice. i don't want to be that kind of person, but the fact is already did it. what i can do now is just to make sure things don't go as ugly as it did.

i miss the things that everyone is doing, but don't talk about it.

:)

itch

its 3am in the morning and the mokgobjas down the road are still partying. i can hear the music clearly from 3 houses away. best part is they play the first 10secs of each song and then change it. bodoh.

to sha, im really really sorry for canceling out last minute. i know its very frustrating when someone does that and i know this isn't the first time i did it, i'm so sorry. it won't happen again, i promise.

p/s - iranian looks so good with formal clothes wei. so yummy yummy til can strip him off and eat him raw - w - <3

and the itch is back. fucking itch. FUCKING ITCH. this is where my willpower comes in.

want

any of u want to know the feeling of torture? i am not proud to say, but i did experienced it last night, and i can tell u how it feels.

it is when u itch, but there is no way u can ever scratch, or touch the place that itches.

i tell you, that IS the worst feeling in the world. both pysically and mentally.

just thinking about it makes my buluroma meremang. brrrrr!

anyway, went to DP(again) to try to find another pair of jeans. hey, it is the sales season, and all the pre-exam tension is catching up to me, i need a place to release, no? what better way than to have (imaginary) retail therapy, and i also wntd to spend some time with that handsome iranian boy. sad enough, didn't get any nice buys, as the stores here didn't carry bigger sizes for me. bodoh kn? they think all malaysians are stickthin and cardboard-like ke?

but as i was walking around, saw something i really liked. now people, i don't usually do this, but seeing my birthday is coming round the corner this february... around the ninth of the month... and you know, as the kind and thouhgtful person i am, i would like to save u guys the trouble of finding me a present... may i recommend you something?

!!! retailing at roxy stores near you(DP) at only rm 189.90 !!!

so very the lawa, blood red colour with quilted heart-shaped design and stuff. with the perfect size (not too small, and not too big like an oversized carrier) and got the buckle thingy at the front. cantiiiiiiiik!!

....but anyway, this is just a recommendation. feel free to get me anything else :) but hey, i do recommend u guys get this one. it will make me extremely happy.

hehe. sorry a bit mukatakmalu.

missed cube last night because i just came back from dinner, and when i read the msg it was a bit too late. heard some things happened, but hey V, just explain everything to her, i'm sure she will appreciate your honesty. and she is a nice, wonderful girl, she will understand. besides, it will always be better to hear things from you yourself, however bad it will be rather than coming out of someone else, whose words may be twisted by malicious intentions. i wish u all the best, dude.

anywayyyyyysssssssssssssssssssss heard from crys the delusion of some people. i guess when someone has too many shadows hiding in their closets, every single statement that mirrors their behaviour, however minute it is stings them like a poisonous venom. as accurately depicted in the malay proverb, siapa makan cili, dia yang terasa pedasnya.

thats why... didn't your mothers ever told u guys to be nice to everyone? live a life with a clear conscience and clear mind? see, now, at the beginning of ur life, where all u actually need to worry is to grow up and study, theres just way too much things to cloud your mind. i pity these people. pity, don't hate.

and i should be studying, or at least get ready for the presentation tomorrow. but i feel so demotivated, even with the iranian sitting infront of me studying.

i guess i need the push. or desperation, or both. :(

merge them baby

i finally popped the giamungous zit on my left cheek. man, the thing is just uglorrendous, its not the cute pink shade that its supposed to be but a dark maroon greyish dead colour. but i think the core is still inside, too scared to press it harder. damn pain wei.

and for the second consecutive day, i went to jogging. made a promise to myself (and one other person) that i will lose my tummy by the end of beta. why? cos i wanna be hot. how? by jogging and doing ab practices everynight :)

and i just blew all seven rounds and 100 situps by eating a plate of oily greasy plate of char kuey teow. (that wasn't even all that nice, but i ate it all anyway. retardation)

but. WHY the hell do all my friends have to be on holiday now? keep getting sms-es asking to hng out, but in reality is i HAVE EXAMS IN TEN DAYS TIME. (and naturally, haven't studied shit). WHY can't u guys cuti when i have cuti? WHY do u have to put me in this state or torture? WHY??? stupid mmu.

and my cbox rosak. how do i fix it?