Monday, 28 April 2008

what a scummy -man

I wrote a dear jane’s letter, regarding what happened. Halfway through finishing it I realized it really doesn’t matter anymore.

Things happen, and yes, it’s disheartening to see it go down that way. But what it has shown me was far more valuable then the time spent getting into a slump over it. Some things are clearly not worth it, and this is just one of them. As for now… I can’t tell what's going to happen next, but I seriously don’t care.

It was not the theft that saddened me (okay. I didn’t suffer any loss, and frankly from the beginning I really do not care about it. That should explain why I didn’t ask you for the updates on it, I know what was happening anyway.) at first I couldn’t believe that you had accused me of doing it, and regardless of what u said ; that it was just a suspicion, u were pretty damn certain about that suspicion to actually act on it. Don’t give me bullshit on the police, they’re crap. I meant the things you yourself did.

What u said don’t correlate to each other, and the way u had acted towards me was; sorry to say, completely bitchy. You left me hanging, no explanations no justifications whatsoever to the way you acted. you made me doubt the things that I didn’t do.

I was resentful. I was bitter. But now I'm really just glad it happened. As you have surely put the quote out, no man can hide behind his mask forever. Thank you for showing me what you really are. And thank you dear, for putting up with my baseless rants and feeble emotional breakdown.


Now it’s time to move on to better things. Breaks coming soon, can’t wait to spend time slaving at the gym. FREEDOM’s next week, it’s gonna turn out to be awesome. ;)

But reality hits hard, finals before everything. How the hell are u supposed to digest 12 weeks worth of lectures in 12 days. God bless me.

Thursday, 24 April 2008

Monday, 14 April 2008

rushed ambiguity

Seemed like I'm only motivated to blog after a long weekend had happened.

Well, a pretty rapid week for me. Assignments (albeit undone, ehem), midterms, debating and a whole lot of other internal dramas.

I realized plenty of things, realized a lot of things about the people I'm with. Lets narrow it down to more specifics, Moji and I are back together. Well, it might not be the most perfect relationship out there, but its pretty darn good.

Realized that I have plenty of caring, loving friends here who really give a shit about me. To you crys, thanks so much. U have no idea that the things u do sometimes really saved my life.

And theres this other issue that I fear will turn out to be Dan version 2.0. No, it's not going to go down that road again, trust me. Fooled me once, shame on you, fooled me twice, shame on me.

And.............. the new love-hate thing I'm involved in......... debating!

Every weekend tourney just kills me. Mentally, and physically draining, and the timing for this couldn't have been worse. The certain drama with that certain boy just had to happen before, during and after and things are very awkward right now. I have two choices... pretend it never happened, or actually realizing that it's a problem and do something about it. Clearly, the first method doesn't work.... but doing something about it will be tough. And it will mostly fall on me. How bad do I want this? I don't know.

Overall, surprisingly my current situation is filled with dramas. I remember the days when stoicism was the only principal around, but I think I'm liking this change. Gone are the days when all u can do is run, this time I'll look at it at the eye and challenge it at my phase. Life's my bitch, not the other way around.