awakening of the ______ senses

a few years ago it came back to me, haunting me to no end. it took me for a year, clawing itself in ever so slowly til it finally takes root.

i did not know what you were, or what you wanted from me.
i did not know why it took you 16 years to come.
i did not know why you came now.

but i did learn, in futility, the breaking of my soul, my innocence.
i did learn the root of my distrust.
i did learn of the walls i built up.
i did learn the incomprehensible logic it taught me.
i did learn, and in that, you ruined me.

but i did not learn to tell anyone yet.
nor that i ever will.

as the last person who held my resolute trust has gone, gone, to ashes.

and honey, it can never be you. so, so precious.

set ablaze

moving on from one sweet tooth to another, here we are again.

three years on fire, clouded in smoke. that's the price I had to pay.

still, I will never be complete, whole, one again.

if only you could see, through the glasses i forged for you all these years,
see what I really am.

then maybe i'll be free. just, maybe.