Tuesday, 28 April 2009

lazy tuesday

In some cases, there is no right or wrong, there’s only what you think is right, or otherwise. Where two parties are on the opposites, you only sympathize with your side of the story. What happens to the other person? Naturally, they will sympathize with theirs. Who's a better ally then yourself and your beliefs. Nobody knows what the hell we should do here, it’s a dead end. God save us all.

Li had left for two days. I miss you babygirl. I hope u have a wonderful time, despite all that happened. Think of it this way, u get to escape the wet Malaysian heat for 17 whole days. And when u come back, I’ll be waiting here for you, arms open with breaths that are bated. :)

Tioman is canceled. I am broke and I owe people some, that's how bad my finances are. My tuition fees are not yet paid for and rentals mounting as well. Not the best predicament, as Bali is approaching and i dont think they have any money to spare as well. Time's running out, in less than a month life as I know it will change. Crys asked me once, "What happens then?" I can only say I dare not think about it, now that the circumstances are different. Imagine that, almost 3 whole years. Give me shudders whenever I think of it.

I still miss you. I hope I knew, but I don't and I can't.

Saturday, 18 April 2009

tie tie.

Today has been the hottest day in the history of 2009.

I managed to run away. After a day of being locked inside (purely circumstantial outcome) I have reached home safely. Since the Persian is going to be busy these few days I might as well come back and have some fun at it. Next semester things will change, he won’t be there anymore. How will I survive the majority of the week there? Let’s see how it goes.

I have this tinkering feeling of saying something out loud. But I don’t know how he is going to react to that, since the last time I did say it (albeit in a very inappropriate manner and time) it didn’t work out as I hoped it would. But I feel that I should say it anyway. Let’s wait til the time is right. Keeping up with the promise is getting tougher every single day. Its getting harder to resist the urge to not do it. Thankfully the people in my life are here to keep my mind of it. Cant say how much I love u girls <3

Oh, on another note, prom season is back again. Its that time of the year, folks! Pick up ur heels and put on the war paints, the rat race is back! Congratulations to you, in particular. Ur dream finally came true :- )

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

it still bugs me every night. this is the first time something like this happened, i have so many things to say but i cant. in the light of day everything seems calm, but theres a storm inside of me. my thoughts are suddenly jolted back to reality sometimes, and i feel anger, sadness, hopelessness. but most of all i just miss u.

as a dear friend of mine once said, it will get better. i know it will. time will make its call.

the other side of the story is nothing but calm winds and wonderful vibes. it has never been this good, never this exhilarating, this new. i'm taken on a cruise all over again, but though some things changed some are still the same, circa 2007. both of us are trying our best and i can see him doing it for me. :)

Friday, 10 April 2009

i want to run.

run as fast as i can to a place where i won't feel. good or bad doesn't matter. getting close, getting fucked, getting here, it's all bad, don't try to tell me otherwise. choices? who said u had any. if only i can make you understand.

run with me.