i kinda wish sometimes.

once in a while your heart gets broken with the smallest things. moments of happiness mixed with sorrow. i never wanted to accept it but right now there's no use cheating reality. i want it to last, if not forever than at least til i'm ready.

but i guess time waits for no one.

me too baby, me too.

:(

day 7 - last day

post agreement, i actually felt a whole lotta better .and things are looking a whole lot better too :) yes, my life is a never ending loop of drama, however unlikely it may be. hope its not too soon to tell.

finally met immy after such a long time. dude, 'ill say it again, u are GREAT company. u trying to hit on the johnny walker girl was classic. real smooth there.

also, tried wall-climbing today and i LOVED it! i know whats a double 8 knot, how to belay and be a spotter! am officially a member of camp5, and thankfully theres something to do now when im bored outta my mind. anyone wanna pretend to be spidey with me please please lemme know and we can role play together!

all in all, i loved the break. and right this moment fris-kay is out somewhere getting frisky. ooh la la.

merely for illustration purposes :)

day five

i've had enough of this. i gave him my piece of mind, albeit being endorsed bu substance abuse. i've had enough of this.

after 2 freaking years. or four months as HE SAID.

day one.

i'm reading old msg histories on msn.

i lied. i saw him die right in front of me, it scared me that i didn't dare tell anyone about it. i'm sorry. i can still see the moment he stopped moving, dear god.

still no calls, though it's only been a day. i really don't want things to go sour, especially with the time running low. why does it keep happening to us? is it really my fault all the time? tell me that is so and i will back out and not cause u any more pain.

and to li, love the masuk air sessions we have. darus still brings mixed feelings to me actually. i love you baby.

and i love you too. just hoping that u can see it.

u just lost 5 mins of ur life.

this blog is getting depressing.

i am depressing.this is depressing. my dad thinks im depressed. my boyfriend is making me depressed. i have said depressed 6 times. how depressing.

if i could delete one feeling from the world it wouldn't be 'depressed'. it would be 'bored' instead. now, thats depressing.

ok seriously. i have plenty to say but i don't feel like talking thru my fingers to an unresponsive crowd (i.e. my conscience). i need to talk to him. he who wont answer my calls. and for reasons i know why.

god this is depressing. i should just go into a hole and die for a week. then back to school. at least then there's something to look forward to.

3 years huh. who would've thought.

it's time

its midterm break again.

i wonder if it can ever top off that particular one :)
we ruled the world.