Thursday, 29 January 2009


Okay, I'm ashamed for myself for exaggerating. The holidays didn't go as bad as I would've imagine it would. I'm far too lazy to describe it in meticulous detail though. The highlights would most definitely be the times spent with the wonderful people around me.

The shocker? Najwa came back! Bumped into her while out shopping with Crys and Sheel at MVM. She told me she contemplated running away, but what the hell. I know u love me too much to do it. Had a nice catching up session, it's good to see that things really don't change, even after all these years of being together. It's like, no matter where u run off to, in the end the ones closest to your heart are the ones that remain. Friends come and go, family stays.

Which opens up another issue altogether. People dearest to me would have known what happened recently, I do not want to retell the tale here. But honest to god it just kills me everyday to think about it. I do admit I'm scared, and people have many things to say about it.

"It's going to be fine."
"It's all routine, no big deal."

But... "What if?"

Ok. Moving on. Last sem marks the beginning of a streak (I hope it is!). This time, really, no more excuses! AND finally I thought of the most brilliant idea for the birthday present. Just wait and see, when everything is already planned it will come out perfectly! :)

thats it. theres no hope for me anymore. :(

Thursday, 22 January 2009

to fill time

Sitting here waiting for Ain to pick me up. He called me this morning, and again a few hours back. Again he asked me "What are you doing?".

What am I doing? What does he mean by that? I hate it when he demeans me, so so much. It was the same thing that put me off a four years back, albeit from a completely different person. But when he says it, it seemed to be more substantial. Is there really something I can do? What does he mean.

What should i do?

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

My heart doesn't feel right. I resented that this happened, and dad is not making it a big deal at all, it's routine enough he said. I should call Obi and ask him to come tomorrow. Presence alone is soothing right, as he had always said it.

God, please let everything fall through. I love you.

Monday, 12 January 2009


Its 11.30 am in the morning, and here I am. After calling him to bid adieu (3 whole weeks! God, let’s hope time passes quickly enough) I'm just floating around facebook playing scrabble and browsing random photos. Off to the telly to channel-surf now.

I can see myself doing this for 3 weeks.

Monday, 5 January 2009

sale no mobarak

It's 2-freaking-0-9 already. Wow, time does pass by quickly. I'm slowly coming closer and closer to changing my first digit.

But so far, I'm really not impressed with what the year had offered me. Bittersweet? Naah... it clearly was laced with ill intentions and malice. Probably not the sunniest person right now, but I do have the right of being unhappy.

2008 had been a good year. It seems like it was only yesterday that I was stressing out about the beginning of the year, and getting confused with the changing of 7 to 8. I had fell hard, through so many things. Academically, it wasn't my best yet, but that's to change soon. I'm thankful that most of the poison had slowly been sucked out from my life. Maybe I'm a better person now for what had happened, maybe not. But one things for sure, I'm not the same person who was here during the beginning of the year.

One thing did remain the same, and that is the presence of that wonderful person in my life. Though I'm just as confused now as i was before, a lot more things have became more stable. Counting the days when it will inevitably happen doesn't seem to scare me as much as it used to.

I've also met some awesome people, and though the foreign feeling still lingers from time to time, i believe when u least expected, it will definitely come out and show itself :) maybe today was a benchmark for me, i can't tell yet.

Saturday, 3 January 2009


We were tricked. Sanctuary has no freaking ice-bar. its just a mini-freezer which requires purchase of overpriced test tubes of failure.

But it was a great night indeed. :) I was actually through with the excitement of celebrating NYE until he called.

"Wanna go to KL?"

Nothing much was happening at Curve, my expectations were blew again. Instead of relaxing at a bar whilst waiting for the year to come by we were running all over the place deciding which place boasts the best prospects. I wanted to settle with Laundry but he was excited with the "ice-bar". MY bad for advertising falsely about it. (Still, i still think we should've gone to Laundry. At least we would have tables. And lovely, lovely margaritas and sangrias)

The bar was 10 mins late in welcoming NYE, as the fireworks had already started. It was a hoot, how people are confused. The couple behind us were apparently temperamental, one minute they're blissfully happy, the next crying in eachother's arms cooing sweet reasons. Truly the effect of alcohol at work :)

All in all, I'm glad i wasn't down there, getting sprayed by strangers (which i still think is way juvenile. Anyone above the age of 17 shouln't be playing with it) and up here instead.

Happy new year, everyone! Here's to hoping for 2009!

p/s - the car trip back was interesting. Got lost in Putrajaya AND Melaka. And of course there's that little extra something :)