awakening of the ______ senses

a few years ago it came back to me, haunting me to no end. it took me for a year, clawing itself in ever so slowly til it finally takes root.

i did not know what you were, or what you wanted from me.
i did not know why it took you 16 years to come.
i did not know why you came now.

but i did learn, in futility, the breaking of my soul, my innocence.
i did learn the root of my distrust.
i did learn of the walls i built up.
i did learn the incomprehensible logic it taught me.
i did learn, and in that, you ruined me.

but i did not learn to tell anyone yet.
nor that i ever will.

as the last person who held my resolute trust has gone, gone, to ashes.

and honey, it can never be you. so, so precious.