Yesterday I fell asleep watching Tun Perak the musical. It was embarrassing, even more to li. The thing is, I had high expectations, I always do. And I think this is my downfall in almost every situation.
I resent that. This might sound bad, but growing up where it doesn’t compel you to do anything does u no good. Having people constantly putting you down for the things that u might even think to challenge isn’t good. Everything is too rigid, there isn’t any choice. Clear cut rules have been made, but it just wasn’t made for me.
Somehow I know I can’t blame them for everything, though as much as I want to. Do I have to live with this? Knowing there are things out there that I will never experience? See, that’s just where we are different, and somehow I think this difference is just palpable. I don’t feel any belonging, any attachments rather that what was already constituted. It’s not just them, it’s the whole bunch of them. So what is the concept for? A pre-made set of rules that seemingly makes things easier and yet it doesn’t.
God, sometimes I just feel like cutting. A sharp, fast cut.
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