when u stop believing?

I was chatting with a friend earlier this month ; and as we were catching up to life, love in particular I found myself saying this;

“xxxx is a game, we all got to play it”

Right after saying it, I realized how different I sounded from last year. Before this I never acknowledged the need to play at this game. Back then, all I believed in was where there are two people with the same feelings, that alone is enough to get them by. No manipulations, no calculations and no strategies in capturing the one thing you want, its nothing like this game of chess I’m trying to play now.

What had changed me in me? Did I change at all? Maybe I was too contented before, enough to believe that alls good in this world. Naiveté? Probably. Did experience teach us all to be cynical at the end? Maybe. But is it not enough to just follow that drive inside of you, and not to count your every single move? Is this really growing up?

I don’t know, somebody please explain it to me. I don’t like me this year.