wohoo.

The boyfriend.

Yes, I very seldom talk about him. I wonder why to myself, because all around me words about their significant other seems to roll very easily down their tongues and into the ears nd minds of others. And yet, for myself, that doesn’t seem to be the case, ever.

But then again, I think about it deeply and it hits me hard, that I don’t normally talk about the things that matters to me. To people, that might seem like distance, dishonesty, and lying even.

I'm out of practice. I don’t trust easily nor do I like to parade myself and let myself be judged and vulnerable. Sometimes I'm scared shitless of what people might make of me, my character and what is stand for. I know that we should be proud of what we are, cause, face it, each and every one of us are great, just brilliant. But sometimes I find it hard for myself to believe in it. I find It hard to think that anyone would find me interesting, or be intrigued by me. I find it hard to know that someone is willing to listen to me, and my words actually have any meaning to them.

Maybe this is what they call a low self-esteem. Or maybe a bad case of inferiority complex, or whatever it is that people label them.

But one thing I know for sure, is that I don’t want these tagged on me anymore. I want to be the kind of person I can be, the kind that I'm trying to be even half-heartedly. It has been long enough for me to be making excuses for myself and hiding in the pits of denial.

It’s time. Everyone knows we hate weaklings.