i'm feeling awful. i don't really know why, but ever since 5pm the feeling has been weird. knots in the stomach, dizziness, trouble focusing and weird red itchy spots appearing mysteriously on my body.
why? some days u just feel down, and i guess this is one of those days. i miss someone, but i can't really say it. he's busy with a lot of things now, and as lame as this sound, i think that's one of the reasons i'm feeling under the blue. bodoh kan?
and i'm scared for myself, i'm scared of what's going to happen to me, be it immediately or in the long run. i'm scared of what i might do, what i can and can't be able to do.
when all these feelings are translated into words, they often sound lame and meaningless, and god knows i'm not a poet, nor do i have any other ways to express myself effectively. i just need someone to hug me right now and tell me every thing's all right. the warmth of another person's body, the feeling of their skin. the silent "it's ok" being told countless times through their actions... i need that. i really do. but the funny thing is whenever i feel this way, there is often nobody around. these times reminds all of us that we are just lonely.
fuck it. these are the times when i wish i had a pet.
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